Make a new plan, Stan….

I’m standing in a residential back street in Chelsea. In front of me there’s a short flight of steps leading down to a black painted basement door. There’s no sign, no brass plaque and no flags, but I am reliably informed that this is the Embassy of  the Republic of Turkmenistan. I’m here to apply for a visa.

Visiting the ‘Stans’ - Kazakhstan, Kyrgystan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Turkmenistan - has been on my World Tour bucket-list for quite a while. It’s not an area that I can get to on a motorbike, though. To get here by road you would have to go north of the Caspian Sea through Russia, or south of the Caspian sea through Iran. Neither route is an attractive option.

Oh, I know some people have done it. Itchy Boots went through Iran about 18 months ago, but that was before the whole Strait-of-Hormuz thing kicked off and in any case she has an EU passport not a British one like me (it makes a difference). And I know two bikers who have transited through Russia separately in recent times. They rocked up at the border, paid a ‘fee’ to the border patrol and spent several days being interrogated in a police cell, but made it through. Personally I don’t fancy that approach. There are another two bikers currently in prison in Iran for crossing the Iranian border in a similar fashion. I’ve designed prisons. I don’t need to see inside one. Drop off the key Lee….

At one time there was a ferry running between Azerbaijan and Kazakhstan crossing through the middle of the Caspian Sea, but that stopped running during the Covid pandemic and hasn’t been seen since.

So…..the only way for me to get to the Stans is to fly. For me that means I won’t have a motorbike on this section of my World Tour: Too complicated! The Stans will be a ‘planes, trains and automobiles’ expedition with a backpack and a credit card (hop on the bus Gus…) and a sketch book of course.

I’ll also have a human travelling companion this time, rather than a two-wheeled one, my backpacking pal David.

David has been down to London before me to apply for his Turkmenistan visa. That’s why I know that I’m at the right place despite the lack of signage.

Descending the steps I push open the door and enter a small dark subterranean room. There are several other people waiting and it is a bit claustrophobic. Before coming here I had to get a letter from the Turkmenistan government in Ashgabat inviting me into their country. I have it with me. It’s amazing what you can get when you ask….. A short wait and then I present my application form, and my Letter of Introduction. I pay a £37 fee and hand over my passport. Hopefully I’ll see it again in seven days time with a nice shiny visa stamp inside!

Turkmenistan is the only one of the Stans that asks you to apply for a visa in person at the embassy. Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan and Uzbekistan are visa-free for Brits and Tajikistan has a relatively simple e-visa system, although you need a Letter of Invitation there too.

Having done all I can at the embassy I make the most of my day in London. I’ve recently returned from Athens so I decide to visit the British Museum to see the rest of the Parthenon. Then I cross over to the National Gallery. Of all the great paintings on these walls it is Delaroche’s painting of the execution of Lady Jane Grey that captivates me. It is a huge canvass so it dominates its room. The executioner leans nonchalantly on his axe and the young woman in a white satin dress, blindfolded, leans forward with her hand outstretched, feeling for the chopping block. Chills….

A week later and I’m back home. The letter box rattles and a passport-shaped envelope drops through. Success! Game on!!

Now all I need to is pack and fly to Almaty…